Building Strong Marriages Program

Parenting Program

• Session1a - Prepare/Enrich Assessment
• Session1b - Marriage takes more than love
• Session2 - ABCD of Communication I
• Session3 - ABCD of Communication II
• Session4 - Conflict Resolution
• Session5a - Family of Origin
• Session5b - In Law
• Session6a - His roles Her Roles
• Session6b - His needs Her needs
• Session7a - Money Matters
• Session7b - Forgiveness & Reconciliation
• Session8 - Sexual Intimacy

• 0–5 Years Age Group
• 6–12 Years Age Group

It is a marital assessment tool scientifically developed based on more than a decade of research by Dr David H Olson and his colleagues at the University of Minnesota. The inventory consists of 165-item questionnaire assessing relationship strength and growth areas for each category listed:

• Communication & Conflict Resolution
• Personality Issues
• Marriage Expectation
• Financial Management
• Leisure Activities
• Sexual Relationship
• Children/ Parenting
• Family/ Friend
• Role Relationship
• Spiritual Beliefs
• Couple & Family Closeness
• Couple & Family Flexibility

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Couples in this session explore the two important essences of marriage beside love. It takes Time and Commitment to make marriage works. Couples will learn practical ideas about spending time and commitment to each other within the marriage.

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One of major and common causes of marital breakdown is communication. This seems to contradict with our age of advancement in communication. Unfortunately, some couples lack the skills of communication and others are ignorance of the importance of communication. BSM allocates two sessions to deal with the issues of communication in an easy to remember acronym ABCD as follows.

• Assertiveness & Active listening
• Build Intimate Communication
• Communicate according to your partner DISC style
• Deposit love through language of Love

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Each of us is different. Courting couples may find this hard to believe as most courting couples see their differences as strengths. Very often they see their partner’s spontaneity as flexibility and fun, structured as organized, quiet as serene, slowness as steady. Once couple live together, invariably the differences in personalities will create friction in opinion about neatness, household chores, spending habit, parenting style and so on. The same personalities can turn into as conflict and nightmare after their marriages. They see their partners’ spontaneity as disorganized, structured as rigid,quite as lack of initiative, slowness and procrastination. Those same strengths that they once fall in love with suddenly become issues. In this session, participant will learn various areas of possible conflicts and the fundamentals of conflict resolution skill.

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A person’s values and personality are formed early in life in their family of origin. In fact, until puberty, it is hard to think of ourselves apart from our family. It is here we pick up our Attitude, Beliefs, & Values. Our self-concept is shaped by what we believe our parents think of us. Along with it, they may carry some unresolved issues and conflict, unmet needs within them. Invariably, two unsettled individuals living together are going to have many things to settle between them. Family background/Family of Origin tends to affect our present because it carries with us our brought up. Research indicated that behavior and relationship pattern can be repeated throughout generations in the family.

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The topic of In-Law deals with some practical aspect of how to handler in-law and how to forge good relationship with them. In this session, couples will learn the roles and responsibility as son and daughter in-law, the importance of honoring, acceptance, and supports them.

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In this session, couples will learn about their roles as husband and wife. Roles differ, it does not mean that one is superior and one is inferior. Roles are of equal value and importance & roles address one’s responsibility, not one’s rank. In order to succeed in marriage, couples need to feel complete confidence and clarity about who does what and why. Without such understanding, couples tend to feel dissatisfied because of unspoken expectation of partner’s roles.

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Both partners need to learn to show and receive love through verbal and tangible actions. This session is based on the Book “His Needs Her Needs” written by Dr. Willard F. Harley. According to Dr. Harley, marital breakdown often due to failure to meet each other needs.

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Budget, a plan for spending, enables a person to satisfy his/her short and long term objectives and helps couples manage money efficiently. A budget forces the individual to place each single expenditure in proper focus that both husband and wife agree on. Here couples will learn some of the practical principle and fundamental about money matters within marriage. Couples will also have hand-on exercise on budgeting.

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No matters how loving couples relationship are, they are time one partner may over-react, says words that are unkind or insensitive, say or do thing that are hurtful. Whether these words or actions are intentional or ignorant, the harm to partner has been done, the disappointments set in. One or both partner must initiate the reconciliation. Here couples will learn the principle and skills about forgiveness and reconciliation. Be it partner seeking forgiveness or release of forgiveness, they are powerful start to reconciliation.

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The session will touch not just on the physical intimacy of sex but also the emotional connection that put sex into a deeper level of bond. Couples learn the different phases and cycles of sexual intimacy, and the differences in sexual orientation and responses between men and women. Participants will also learn about the importance of romance that will spice up the excitement of sex and some of the barrier that can retard sexual intimacy.

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• Session One - - - What is a Parent?
  • Styles of Parenting
  • What type of parent do children need?

• Session Two - - - Know Your Pre-Schooler
  • Physical and emotional needs of a pre-schooler
  • Developmental stages 0-5 years

• Session Three - - - Bringing Your Kids On Board Through Rules etc.
• The importance of structure, routine and communication
• Ways to engage your child’s cooperation
• Family rules and values

• Session Four - - - Expressing Love Through Discipline
  • Tools for handling difficult behaviour
  • Appropriate discipline strategies

• Session Five - - - Creating A Childhood To Remember
• Great ideas for having fun and handling memories

• Session Six - - - Putting It All Together
  • Practice solving sleeping, eating and toilet training problems
  • Rising to the occasion
  • Becoming a parent-coach

• Session One - - - Your role as a Parent-Coach?
• Styles of Parenting
• Mission statements
• V of love
• Parent types
• Peer pressure and parents
• Proactive parenting
• Single parenting

• Session Two - - - Building your child’s Self-esteem
  • Self-esteem
  • Reflective listening
  • The teachable moment & self-talk
  • Confidence and competence
  • Bullying

• Session Three - - - E.Q. – Emotional Intelligence
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Values
  • How to make a positive request
  • Debriefing
  • Relating to schools and teachers
  • The strong-willed child

• Session Four - - - Organising Chaos
  • V of love — the issues
  • Family meetings
  • Discipline
  • Tips for working mums

• Session Five - - - Unique Families – A Museum of Memories
  • Fun & memories
  • Family traditions & rituals
  • Gift giving
  • Flying solo at parties

• Session Six - - - The ‘Tween-Age’ Years
  • Change is the theme
  • Aware of their attitudes
  • Alert to their environment
  • Be around
  • Be assertive
  • Get in first